Don’t Let Others Control Your Life

Many people have a goal in life or a vision of what they want to become, but only a few do whatever it takes to get there.

They are afraid to fail or get discouraged by others and choose the easier way by staying in their comfort zone:

  • Instead of going to the gym and working out they stay home because that’s where they feel more comfortable.
  • Instead of asking for a promotion or a salary raise they keep their mouth shut not to attract negative attention.
  • Instead of asking out this cute girl which works at the coffee shop around the corner they shyly look in their iPhone and search for excuses not to go and talk to her.

Instead of getting what they want they are satisfied with things which came in their hands easily without any effort.

Let me tell you a little secret:

You will never get more, than what you ask for.

If people treat you bad and you don’t do anything about it- it won’t change.

In school, there was always this bully who picked on smaller boys but out of all these boys, there was also this little kid who was lashing out wildly when he got provoked.

Maybe this little boy didn’t win these fights but after a few bad experiences with this kid, the bully decided to better leave him alone and search for someone else to pick on.

Already this little guy knew that he had enough of this bullshit of getting tyrannized and didn’t want to live the life of bully-victim.

Nowadays people care too much about what the society thinks about them.

This behavior has evolutionary roots and comes from our survival instinct.

In the times of mammoths and sable-tooth tigers we didn’t want to get left behind and to be part of the group was necessary for survival.

So the fear that we won’t be accepted has a strong impact on our feelings.

By getting approval from others we get a higher self-esteem because our instinct tries to convince us that their opinion matters.

Their opinion doesn’t matter at all. Don’t try to please everyone. You don’t want to lie on your deathbed and think about that you have lived your life on other people’s terms. This time don’t listen to your instinct and follow your heart if you want to be happy and free.

”Too many people are buying things they don’t need, with money they don’t have… to impress people they don’t like!”.


What if the people will look at my chubby belly in the gym?

No one cares about how you look. They are focused on their own workout. Everyone has to start from somewhere and people have respect for someone who wants to get in shape, no matter if you’re fat or thin.

What if I will get fired from my job by asking for a raise? If they fire you after you ask them this question they have planned to fire you anyways soon.

What if this girl will reject me?

Even if she would reject you, so what? It’s not the end of the world and every woman has the right to decide with whom she wants to talk. If you won’t talk to her – someone else will, and you will never find out her reaction. This uncertainty will bother you more than her rejection.

This boy didn’t care about what his teachers or the other children think about him when he wildly screamed and threw his punches in all directions – he just followed his emotions.

Be this boy.

Show them that you are serious about what you want and that nothing can stop you and people will get out of your way and respect your ambitious go-getter mentality.

Don’t always listen to other people

If I would’ve always listened to other people I wouldn’t have achieved anything.

I wouldn’t have seen America, Thailand or many other great places because people told me not to go there because of how hot, dangerous or rainy it is there.

When they first saw my results from working out in the gym they made fun of bodybuilders or accused me of using steroids because they didn’t know anything about training and were jealous that I decided to make a change in my life and they were still out of shape.

”Trust yourself, no matter what anyone thinks.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger

Sometimes people act like they want to give you some advice but sadly often all they want is to get some attention and the feeling that they are important.

Not everyone wants the best for you.

For example in the fitness industry often the trainers or fitness models don’t want to help each other because they see each other as competitors. Instead of a collaboration to gain more popularity, clients and friends they keep to themselves.

You will be more successful if you are ready to help others and let others help you.

If you help someone they will remember this and will be there for you if you need something from them.

People told me not to do this or not to do that because they were too afraid themselves to do it or because no one has done it before.

Only because it’s not possible in their eyes it doesn’t mean that you can’t do it.

The things you are afraid of are often the things most worth doing.

Stay away from people who discourage you and drain your energy – instead, surround yourself with positive people who encourage you.

Don’t let anyone steal your time.

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”- Jim Rohn

The people you interact with daily have a huge impact on your happiness so choose the people you surround yourself wisely.

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Until next time,


8 thoughts on “Don’t Let Others Control Your Life

  1. You are wise beyond your years, Tom, living by such truths as: 1) Don’t worry so much about what other people think. 2) You will be more successful if you are ready to help others and let others help you. 3)The things you are afraid of are often the things most worth doing. 4) Surround yourself with positive people who encourage you. Thanks for sharing! P.S. And thank you for becoming a follower of my blog, From the Inside Out. I pray you’ll find the posts meaningful and encouraging!


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